“We've already established in previous podcasts that Dan is a perv, who women are disgusted by.” —Elliott, Episode 87: My Soul to Take @16:05
Examples[]
Obviously, a comprehensive list of Dan's various pervazersions would be impossible to enumerate. Accordingly, this collection contains only some of the most glaring examples.
Dan's intense craving for lesbian sex scenes is so strong that it makes no difference if one of the participants is a rotting zombie. Episode 21: One Missed Call @24:15
“By 'south of the border' he means 'doesn't go down on women,' ladies.” —Dan, Episode 36: The Spirit @01:25
“A key piece of information that you leave out is whether that was your wife in the—who had the titular'great ass.'” —Dan, regarding a listener's shot-for-shot remake of a scene from Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Episode 86: The Happiest Millionaire @37:00
“Look, just because I'm visibly drooling and I've removed my pants, doesn't mean that there's anything untoward...” —Dan, Episode 86: The Happiest Millionaire @40:50
Elliott:
You see those videos online of evangelical exorcisms and stuff like that. Usually the demons want to make people gay—
Dan:
Yeah.
Elliott:
—and that's what they exorcise out. And it's like...demons: is that the biggest...like, that's the most damage you could think up?
Hallie:
Yeah, demons: you gotta get with the times!
Dan:
Usually they exercise it by inserting a penis into a butthole, you know.
“Am I like a fairy godparent who's allowing a young child their first taste of boobs? I mean, their second taste of boobs, technically.” —Dan, Episode 123: That's My Boy @06:30
“It was the porn abbreviation for 'ass-to-mouth'—that's what we watched tonight.” —Dan, Episode 136: ATM @04:40
Episode 94: Conan the Barbarian Stuart reveals that Dan's pervazoid behavior is just an elaborate ruse intended to disguise Dan's homosexuality. @48:55
Dan attempts to drag Elliott into his own wretchedness by declaring "Hey guys, Pervazoid #2 over here." Although Stuart initially concurs, Elliott adroitly squelches the accusation by invoking his recently-disclosed Bigfoot Fetish.
