The hero of A Nightmare on Elm Street.

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Freddy vs. Jason at WorkEdit

Episode 135: Olympus Has Fallen @48:55

The Flop House Podcast - Freddy's Trouble At His Job

The Flop House Podcast - Freddy's Trouble At His Job

Freddy: Ugh, it's time for me to leave for the day but I got one more kill to do. I'll just be a goofy panther or something. Hey, I'm a goofy — I'm a goofy panther, bitch. Grr, bitch! You scared? Whatever. Anyway, quittin' time. See ya later, bitch!
Tim: (at the punchclock, also wearing a blade-fingered glove) Hey, Fred.
Freddy: Hey, Tim.
Tim: Panther, huh? All righty, I'll take over. Grr. Grr. I'm a panther, bitch...
Gustafson: Uh, Freddy? Can you come into my office for a second?
Freddy: Yeah, Mr. Gustafson? What is it?
Gustafson: Uh, Freddy, we've been getting a lot of complaints that you're calling the clients "bitch."
Freddy: Aw, you know. It's just part of my thing. It's just kind of spooky, all right? I'm gonna kill 'em anyway, what's the big deal?
Gustafson: Yeah, but we kill the clients with respect. You know, we don't need to — Scaring is one thing, sexism is quite another. There's a little thing called workplace appropriateness and sexual harassment. I'm gonna need you to go to a three-hour training session.
Freddy: Aw, not again. Come on, sir!
Gustafson: Take it easy on the homoeroticism, please. Don't have to rip off everybody's weiner.
Freddy: It was just the one movie! So no "bitch" and no weiner ripping — can I do my job now?
Gustafson: Whoa, Freddy! Enough with the talkback! You know, this is going in your record.
Freddy: No, come on. Another black mark and I'm on probation — double-secret probation. They'll never let me in the fraternity now! Look, I need this job. This is the only thing I know how to do: killing kids in their dreams. I can't go back to being a lawyer.
Gustafson: That's fine, but if you don't shape up, we're gonna replace you with Jason. It'll be a Freddy vs. Jason situation.
Freddy: Jason?! He never talks!
Gustafson: Yeah, and he doesn't say "bitch" as a result! Freddy, you could learn a thing or two from Jason.
Freddy: Ugh, God! Guy thinks he's so great, just because he was in the NHL. We get it, we get it. Just because his mom got her head chopped off. And he has teleportation abilities. And he's a death elemental. And probably a zombie.
Gustafson: Freddy, you show me another job where you can wear a hat and a striped sweater to work.
Gustafson: Uh, Freddy — step in for a second. Jason, Jason, can you step in here too? Both of you? Now, this is a hard decision. I know both of you applied to the "In Space" program, but we can only send one of you into space. And, I'm sorry, we've made our decision — Jason, you're going into space.
Jason: (silently raises both fists into the air and pumps them)
Freddy: This is bullshit, man! I've been with this company 25 years! I've killed way more kids than he has!
Gustafson: Uh, I'm not sure that's true, Freddy. We can check the numbers, but it's all about demeanor. You scratch our back, I'll scratch yours. But please don't really scratch my back, because your fingers have blades on them.
Freddy: Mr. Gustafson, I mean — I respect you, but I don't respect the guys upstairs, if you know what I mean.
Gustafson: And maybe that's part of the problem, Freddy. Maybe that's part of the problem. Shape up and fly right, maybe you'll go into space one day.
Freddy: Whatever. I'm never gonna go into space.
Gustafson: Not with that attitude, you're not, Freddy. Jason: can you please leave the room? I think I have to talk to Freddy again. Now, Freddy. Let me be honest: you're on thin ice. I don't care who your uncle is. Maybe Bill Krueger runs this company, that doesn't mean we have to keep you on the payroll. Look, I've gone to bat for you a couple times. Look, at a certain point there's only so much I can do, buddy. You've gotta help me help you.
Freddy: I know, I know. You're a good guy, Mr. Gustafson.
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