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It's getting hot in here, so let's lick chicken grease off each other.

Apparently a fan wrote into the show with some Dan/Elliott/Stu slash fiction. The hosts were horribly scarred, and have demanded no more such fiction ever be written. Details of said story have been slowly leaking out over time. Apparently the story involved Elliott licking Popeyes grease off everyone's bodies.


Episode 55: The Ugly Truth
Dan: We thought we could handle the slash fiction. But the one piece of slash fiction that we got, it was like the ending of Y Tu Mamá También: once they have the three-way and the two young men have a sexual experience with one another, they could not be friends anymore. Much in the same way, just reading a slash fiction piece with the three of us —
Stuart: We couldn't be lovers anymore.
Elliott: Yeah, our sexual relationship had to end.
Dan: Strictly business from now on, guys.
Elliott: Yeah, Strictly Ballroom from now on.

Slash Fiction Redux[]

"Response to the Responses to My Email (Never Mind)" from Martin Biro (Episode 64: Repo Men @33:30)
Just for the record (or perhaps off the record), I would not kick any of you out of bed, and I would write slash fiction to that effect if requested.
"Werewolf Satanic Scandal" from from Kristin Lastnamewithheld (Episode 94: Conan the Barbarian @47:55)
Elliott: For the audience, just so you can know, we're not into any satanic stuff. Or satanish stuff.
Dan: We are into threesomes, however.
Elliott: But just among the three of us. There's a story about it.
Stuart: We read it, burned the story, and scrubbed out our eyeballs and ear holes.
Dan: And swore never to talk about that again, Elliott!
Elliott: We put burning Q-tips in our ears, hoping to burn that knowledge out of our brain. Didn't work, it only burned it further into my brain.

Mentioned In[]


  • ­I thought Elliott would look pretty good in latex.
           —Stuart, Episode 34: Mirrors @39:10
  • ­Of course, there's always been an attraction between me and Stuart.
           —Elliott, Episode 61: Surrogates @41:50
  • ­I smelled Dan's [dick] that one time. It was for a dare.
           —Stuart, Episode 61: Surrogates @54:05
  • Stuart suggests retooling the Flophouse format. To wit: fewer bad movies, more pornographic movies, and instead of talking about the movie, to just masturbate as a group. Ultimately is rejected since they had already tried that once, with at best mixed results. (Episode 68: Teen Witch)
  • ­You totally want to have your face buried in my delicious ass!
           —Stuart (to Dan), Episode 226: Max Steel @07:00
  • ­We walked in on each other naked, that one time.
           —Elliott, Episode 248: Bright @2:01:25