Episode 359: Dear Evan Hansen

Tag[]

Dan: On this episode we discuss Dear Evan Hansen.

Elliott: A warning to listeners: On today's episode we will be touching on some very sensitive topics, such as... how Dear Evan Hansen is very bad. [Sharlene laughing]

Official Show Notes[]

In what has become a mini-tradition, we kick off the new year with an examination of last year’s biggest musical flop. Unfortunately this one has a lot fewer cats and a lot more lying to a grieving family, and it’s called Dear Evan Hansen. Joining us for the discussion is noted bar owner, Stuart wife, and DEH-on-Broadway-hater, Sharlene Wellington!

Movie Summary[]

Premise[]

A teenage loner finds himself in an increasingly elaborate lie about a fake friendship with a recently deceased classmate. Hilarity and musical numbers ensue as we learn about the importance of the internet's hunger for content.

Final Judgments[]

“Was this Dear Evan Hansen or Jeer Evan Hansen?”
—Stuart @1:05:25

“Almost made worse by a few moments that genuinely affected me because I'm like, 'Oh, ok, that just throws the rest into sharp relief how terrible some of this is.'”
—Bad-Bad Movie (Dan) @01:05:35

“It felt like — I didn't like it. I didn't think it was very good. ”
—Bad-Bad Movie (Elliott) @01:06:40

“It should all be so touching and then they wrapped it around this horrible person of a character and some of my least favourite plot devices ever.”
—Bad-Bad Movie (Sharlene) @01:09:35

“ I guess if you love musicals maybe give this one a look but, I don't know. I'm not into it.”
—Bad-Bad Movie (Stuart) @01:11:25

Episode Summary[]

Introductions and the Queen of Kings @0:35
- Jesus: For Your Dating Needs
Sharlene's Connection to Dear Evan Hansen @2:20
[...]
Final Judgments @1:05:25
- [...]
- Big and Amusement Parks @1:13:25
Ad Break @1:15:30
- [...]
[...]
Letters @1:23:00
- The Flop House: a podcast about cigars
- Moody Giuliani
- [...]
Recommendations @1:39:45
[...]

Quotes[]

Dan: I mean, I think in general if an amusement park is around it's a pretty good decision to go to an amusement park.

Stuart: That's a good point!

Elliott: But what if it's a haunted amusement park?

Stuart: You might find one of those wish machines where you could get Big and then have sex with an old lady!

Dan: Yeah. ...God

Elliott: Did you say with an old lady?

Dan: Stuart!

Stuart: Isn't that the point of that movie?

Elliott: I mean, she's also —

Dan: Stuart has a Bad Little Boy expression on his face.

Elliott: But did you say "old lady," Stuart? 'Cause she was almost certainly younger than we are now.

— @1:13:25

Dan: Lets do some Letters from Listerners. And by "do", I mean I will read them —

Stuart: Uh huh.

Dan: and then we will talk about them.

Elliott: So there's nothing sexual about what you're gonna do with the letters.

Dan: Yeah, nothing.

Stuart: I mean —

Dan: Oh, ok.

Stuart: — the shape of an envelope is kinda sexual.

Dan: Uh... I guess? In that it opens? I don't know.

Stuart: Mm-hmm!

Dan: Let's not go too far down this road.

Elliott: Not the way I expected you to go, Dan, not what I expected.

— @1:23:00

Ad Break[]

Maximum Fun[]

Oh no Ross and Carrie @1:15:30
Jordan Jesse Go @1:16:15

Sponsors[]

Green Chef @1:16:55
Betterhelp @1:19:10

Listener Mail[]

Mailbag Song[]

Dear Evan Hansen-ish homage @1:23:20->1:24:10

Letters[]

How will the future of politics affect the future of movies? Will there be more Bikini Car Washes and Castle Freaks in movies? @1:24:45
- "I mean, there's always a chance." (Dan)
- [...]
- The Uncle Ben Cinematic Universe
- [...]

The Dingdongdella Effect and the Flop House NFT @1:30:45
- [...]

Recommendations[]

Nightmare Alley (2021) by Guillermo del Toro (Dan) @1:39:45
House of Gucci (2021) by Ridley Scott (Sharlene) @1:42:00
The Worst Person in the World (2021) by Joachim Trier (Stuart) @1:43:25
The Year of the Sex Olympics (1968) by Michael Elliott (Elliott) @1:45:25

Stinger[]

Dan: Let's — [Everyone else laughing]

Elliott: Cinnamon is his first and favourite love, apparently.

Stuart: Aw man, he's fuckin' crazy about that shit.

Elliott: Yeah he just loves it. He's a real Cinnaman

Stuart: Yeah! [in Southern accent] "I have this cinnamon farm that is going to be paying for my retirement. I guess I'll leave David Kalan to watch over it. Oh noooo!"

Dan: He ate all the cinnamon? So —

Stuart: "It's all gone!"

Elliott: "We — I just finally hired a guard for my cinnamon vault."

Dan: I mean, that would be very impressive to think it — 'cause cinnamon is hard to eat in large quantities, I mean, particularly on a farm where it's —

Elliott: Well that's the thing, is he takes a little bit at a time so you don't notice it's gone until it's too late, yeah.

Stuart: Yeah!

Dan: Oh, ok.

Elliott: It's not like a one-night cinnamon binge, you know?

Stuart: Yeah, yeah! It's not like some cereal mascot —

Dan: Like a locust — a swarm of locusts come through

Elliott: Yeah, a swarm of tiny David Kalans swarm over the cinnamon fields.

Dan: "No, my cinnamon!"

Stuart: Yeah, that's one of the plagues, right? One of the biblical plagues?

Elliott: "Gentlemen, lady — my fellow Americans we face a dire Toast Crunch emergency."

`Dan:`	On this episode we discuss Dear Evan Hansen.
`Elliott:`	A warning to listeners: On today's episode we will be touching on some very sensitive topics, such as... how Dear Evan Hansen is very bad. [Sharlene laughing]

`Dan:`	I mean, I think in general if an amusement park is around it's a pretty good decision to go to an amusement park.
`Stuart:`	That's a good point!
`Elliott:`	But what if it's a haunted amusement park?
`Stuart:`	You might find one of those wish machines where you could get Big and then have sex with an old lady!
`Dan:`	Yeah. ...God
`Elliott:`	Did you say with an old lady?
`Dan:`	Stuart!
`Stuart:`	Isn't that the point of that movie?
`Elliott:`	I mean, she's also —
`Dan:`	Stuart has a Bad Little Boy expression on his face.
`Elliott:`	But did you say "old lady," Stuart? 'Cause she was almost certainly younger than we are now.

`Dan:`	Lets do some Letters from Listerners. And by "do", I mean I will read them —
`Stuart:`	Uh huh.
`Dan:`	and then we will talk about them.
`Elliott:`	So there's nothing sexual about what you're gonna do with the letters.
`Dan:`	Yeah, nothing.
`Stuart:`	I mean —
`Dan:`	Oh, ok.
`Stuart:`	— the shape of an envelope is kinda sexual.
`Dan:`	Uh... I guess? In that it opens? I don't know.
`Stuart:`	Mm-hmm!
`Dan:`	Let's not go too far down this road.
`Elliott:`	Not the way I expected you to go, Dan, not what I expected.

`Dan:`	Let's — [Everyone else laughing]
`Elliott:`	Cinnamon is his first and favourite love, apparently.
`Stuart:`	Aw man, he's fuckin' crazy about that shit.
`Elliott:`	Yeah he just loves it. He's a real Cinnaman
`Stuart:`	Yeah! [in Southern accent] "I have this cinnamon farm that is going to be paying for my retirement. I guess I'll leave David Kalan to watch over it. Oh noooo!"
`Dan:`	He ate all the cinnamon? So —
`Stuart:`	"It's all gone!"
`Elliott:`	"We — I just finally hired a guard for my cinnamon vault."
`Dan:`	I mean, that would be very impressive to think it — 'cause cinnamon is hard to eat in large quantities, I mean, particularly on a farm where it's —
`Elliott:`	Well that's the thing, is he takes a little bit at a time so you don't notice it's gone until it's too late, yeah.
`Stuart:`	Yeah!
`Dan:`	Oh, ok.
`Elliott:`	It's not like a one-night cinnamon binge, you know?
`Stuart:`	Yeah, yeah! It's not like some cereal mascot —
`Dan:`	Like a locust — a swarm of locusts come through
`Elliott:`	Yeah, a swarm of tiny David Kalans swarm over the cinnamon fields.
`Dan:`	"No, my cinnamon!"
`Stuart:`	Yeah, that's one of the plagues, right? One of the biblical plagues?
`Elliott:`	"Gentlemen, lady — my fellow Americans we face a dire Toast Crunch emergency."