Tag[]
Dan: On this episode we discuss Jiu Jitsu. Elliott: The movie that's not so much a movie as a video catalogue of demos of martial artists you can invite to your child's birthday party. Stuart: It's called Slameo!
Official Show Notes[]
It’s Cagemas in July! The second-cagiest time of year! So we invited Jordan Morris, creator of the Bubble podcast (available on Maximum Fun) and co-writer of the brand new Bubble graphic novel to come by and discuss the “aliens really like a good martial arts fight” action movie Jiu Jitsu, with a delightful turn by Mr. Cage as a wacky Yoda-like character.
Movie Summary[]
Premise[]
Every six years, an ancient order of jiu-jitsu fighters joins forces to battle a vicious race of alien invaders. But when a celebrated war hero goes down in defeat, the fate of the planet and mankind hangs in the balance.
Final Judgments[]
“It is fun to watch, there's a lot of it that's very silly and Nicolas Cage is fun.”
—Good-Bad Movie (Dan) @ 1:04:20
“As a movie movie, it didn't really hold my attention. [...] Didn't. Quite. Work. For. Me.”
—Bad-Bad Movie (Elliott) @ 1:05:13
“Nicolas Cage does add some much-needed charisma to the film. And as somebody who consumes a fair amount of cheapo martial art movies, I found this one to be pretty disappointing.”
—Marginal Good-Bad Movie (Stuart) @ 1:06:02
“I think this has enough goofiness, and it has that big Cage performance we love.”
—Good-Bad Movie (Jordan) @ 1:06:38
Worse Than[]
- the Universal Soldier sequels (Jordan) @1:06:40
- Your Drive Angries, your Moms and Dads, your Mandies (Jordan) @ 1:07:00
Episode Highlights[]
Tangents[]
- "Praise Brax!" and Cagemas in July @0:48
- The Flop House Calendar @2:20
- Peak Cagemas and Alternative Schlock @2:58
- [...]
- After Brax and sitcoms with Brax @1:01:16
- We've All Dated a Brax @ 1:02:29
- Elliott's biological clock
- Netflix, the Algorithm, and Auto-Play @1:07:30
- Kevin Sorbo @1:15:17
- Hercules' Guns and the Nemean Lion
- Don Bluth @1:20:24
- Dan Continues a Personal Conversation On Air @1:35:14
- How to Use Money To Buy a Book @1:36:34
- Smuggling Drugs With the Bubble Book
Movie Pitches[]
Quotes[]
Stuart: Yeah, I mean, I guess we're living in, what? 1 AB: After Brax? Elliott: That's it! That's how we have to number every — I'm still writing "A.D." on my cheques, but I should be writing "A.B." on them. Dan: Terrible sitcom, After Brax. Elliott: What happens on that sitcom? Dan: Well, I mean, it's just... they're peacefully living their lives near the temple— Jordan: — just remembering Brax fondly. Elliott: I mean, that's kinda most sitcoms. Most sitcoms don't take place in a world where an alien has to fight jiu-jitsu with everybody. Dan: Look, take it up with the producers of After Brax, I don't know what your problem is.
- — @1:01:16
Dan: If you wanna see a bunch of CGI dust fly everywhere, I guess I'll say "Good-Bad movie" for me. Elliott: I mean if you wanna see CGI dust flying around, it's either this or the Golden Compass, those are your only two options. Dan: Or old episodes of Buffy.
- — @1:04:45
- “'Cause the idea of going without the few hours of sleep I get, just for the purpose of having an orgy with my friends, would be — I'm sorry, I'm gonna say no. I need the sleep!”
—Elliott @1:30:45
- “'Cause the idea of going without the few hours of sleep I get, just for the purpose of having an orgy with my friends, would be — I'm sorry, I'm gonna say no. I need the sleep!”
Sponsors[]
- Storyblocks @1:11:23
- Green Chef @1:12:34
Listener Mail[]
Mailbag Song[]
-None-
Letters[]
- Movies that you wish had been disconnected from the stories that inspired them from "Kevin Sorbo" @1:15:17
- Solo (Elliott, also Jordan)
- Passion of the Christ (Stuart)
- The Secret of NIMH movie's magic v. the book (Dan)
- What aspect of your personality would have an unnecessary prequel explanation? from "Kelly Ripa Kapowski" @1:22:34
- "my famous eczema" (Jordan)
- "why Dan likes butts" (Dan)
- "my award-winning dimples" (Stuart)
- "my height" (Elliott)
Recommendations[]
- Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (2021) by Leigh Janiak (Stuart) @1:26:49
- Fear Street: Part Two - 1978 (2021) by Leigh Janiak (Stuart) @1:26:49
- Fear Street: Part Three - 1666 (2021) by Leigh Janiak (Stuart) @1:26:49
- Blue Collar (1978) by Paul Schrader (Dan) @1:28:19
- Season of the Witch (1972) by George A. Romero (Elliott) @1:31:04
- Let Him Go (2020) by Thomas Bezucha (Jordan) @1:32:50
Stinger[]
Stuart: Uh, do you guys have something for this? Elliott: Uh, I do if... I do — Dan: Ok. Elliott: It's not much, but... Dan: On this episode we discuss Jiu Jitsu. Elliott: From the visionary director who's also the producer of Hard Bodies 2. Dan: [silence] Wow. Elliot: Factually accurate. Dan: This guy goes deep. Wow. Elliott: Yeah.