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Dan : On tonight's episode we watched Pompeiiiiiiii...
Elliott : It Forward. Pompeii It Forward.
Stuart : Uh...what?

Show Notes[]

"A returning Flop House director guides a cast of returning Flop House stars in an eruption of mediocrity named Pompeii. Meanwhile Stu asks a provocative question about Cenobites, Elliott reveals an early draft of a Robert Louis Stevenson classic, and Dan debuts his new hit character."

Movie Summary[]


A slave-turned-gladiator finds himself in a race against time to save his true love, who has been betrothed to a corrupt Roman Senator. As Mount Vesuvius erupts, he must fight to save his beloved as Pompeii crumbles around him.


In 79 A.D., Pompeii, a bustling port city, stands in the shadow of Mount Vesuvius. Milo, a former slave, is a gladiator who has caught the eye of Cassia, a wealthy merchant's daughter. However, their difference in social status is not the only obstacle to their love; Cassia has been promised to Corvus, a corrupt Roman senator. When the eruption of Mount Vesuvius rains lava and ash down on the city, Milo races to save her before it's too late.

Final Judgments[]

  • 93% Bad Bad, 7% Good Bad. (Elliott) @33:40
  • First 2/3 Bad Bad, Kinda Liked the last 1/3 (Dan) @34:20
  • Bad-Bad Movie (Stuart) @36:00

Episode Highlights[]


Movie Pitches[]


  • ­We've got a regular House of Leaves going on right here.
           —Elliott @27:20
  • ­Are you guys familiar with the video art of Ryan Trecartin? (I think that's how his name is pronounced.) He did, he did an art video called A Family Finds Entertainment, which is crazy. And there are parts of the end of Pompeii that reminded me of that. This, like, homemade art video where he's using editing equipment to just make the screen explode into shards, and things like that. So I guess you start with youth queer artist homemade video art, and a big-budget sword & sandal action adventure, and this is the point where the two converge in terms of the quality of their special effects. And that's kind of a beautiful moment.
           —Elliott @29:40
  • ­Now, if Demi Moore was stumbling through the forest and saw Gary Oldman and his penis had a little hat with a feather on it, she would have to run to that bathtub to masturbate, or else she's just doin' it in the woods right there.
           —Elliott @54:50

Listener Mail[]

Mailbag Song[]



"Mail Title" from Listener Lastnamewithheld @Time
"Foggy Friday" from Alex Lastnamewithheld @46:35
Regarding a conversation on the set of the Misty Mundae film Sculpture (2009) by Pete Jacelone.
Alex: So, are you gonna get killed in this scene?
Misty: No, but I do get a death scene. We're filming it in a few days.
Alex: Nice! How do you check out?
Misty: I get stabbed in the pussy.
Alex: (silence)
Dan's Cat
Sex Tarps
"Mail Title" from Listener Lastnamewithheld @Time


  • The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith (1978) by Fred Schepisi (Elliott) @1:02:10
  • Housebound (2014) by Gerard Johnstone (Stuart) @58:45
  • The Hurricane (1937) by John Ford (Elliott) @1:00:05
  • Volcano (1997) by Mick Jackson (Dan) @56:10


Stuart: Uh... Dan: which cenobite would you not want you to jack—jack you off?
Dan: Would I not mind jacking off?
Stuart: No, if you—wait a minute...
Elliott: No no no.
Stuart: Wait a minute.
Elliott: No. No. What?
Stuart: We have to talk about—wait, do we have to jack off a cenobite now?
Elliott: Dan, you totally misunderstood who was doing the jacking of who.
Stuart: Although...
Elliott: This is a better question.
Stuart: He has a really good point.
Elliott: So, Dan: answer the question.