Audio Note
"APOLOGIES for the audio issues in this episode—specifically Dan's ear-splitting levels. It does get (somewhat) better as the episode goes on."


"On this episode we discuss Safe Haven."

Website BlurbEdit

Oh Nicholas Sparks, you're the creepiest!

Movie SummaryEdit



  • ­His performance goes quickly from no personality to shambling horror.
         —Elliott @23:10
  • ­I consider myself an American patriot. Fourth of July just isn't the same without a bunch of fireworks. I've seen some damn good fireworks shows. And let me tell you: Point Awkward's fireworks show does not stack up.
         —Elliott @24:05
  • ­Katie falls asleep and has a dream that Jo, her best friend—the possible lesbian and not-at-all-a-ghost—Jo tells her 'Your husband's here.'
         —Elliott @27:15
  • ­Another movie solved by killing someone.
         —Dan @30:03

Final JudgmentsEdit

  • Bad-Bad Movie (unanimous) @39:55

Episode HighlightsEdit


Movie PitchesEdit

Robot Cop Meets The Shining
Not RoboCop. Robot Cop. James Spader and Jack Nicholson star. @02:40


  • ­Ribald for her pleasure.
         —Elliott @05:20
  • ­I don't want to talk about anything anymore.
         —Stuart @05:25
  • ­Dasani: 'Buy our bottle...maybe there'll be vodka in it.'
         —Elliott @12:20
  • ­Yeah, I could see you fuckin' my husband.
         —Dan @33:31

Listener MailEdit

Mailbag SongEdit



"Mail Title" from Tim Lastnamewithheld @45:14
Popeyes Fried Chicken @45:30
"Praise From a New Listener" from Michelle Lastnamewithheld @47:10
Castle Freak, Dingdonggate @48:15
The Invisible Maniac, Submarine Sandwich @48:45
Return of the Living Dead @49:32
The Taking of Pelham One Two Three @50:02
Gremlins 2: The New Batch @50:20
"Non-Sexual Fan Fic" from Josh Lastnamewithheld @51:12
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles @52:10
Anne Hathaway @52:50
Nicolas Cage @53:04
Seven Pounds (Batman Villain) @56:10


  • The Name of the Rose (1986) by Jean-Jacques Annaud (Stuart) @58:45
  • Our Man In Havana (1959) by Carol Reed (Dan) @59:57
  • Mud (2013) by Jeff Nichols (Elliott) @1:02:09
  • The Mercenary (1968) by Sergio Corbucci (Elliott) @1:03:17
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