- aka: Seeking Just Ice
Tag[]
- "Merry Cagemas, and a Floppy new year!"
Movie Summary[]
Premise[]
- After his wife is brutally raped, high school English teacher Will Gerard (Nicolas Cage with a van dyke) is reluctantly drawn into a secretive and unimaginably labor-intensive ring of coerced amateur assassins run by "Simon" (a bald Guy Pearce).
Story[]
Gerard:
- Purchases two particular nutrition bars from a specific vending machine in the hospital oncology wing. @17:30
- Purchases some gum from a neighborhood grocery store. @26:35
- Carries a letter addressed to Santa Claus to the local zoo. @29:10
- Mostly-accidentally kills his assigned target. @45:30
- Gets suspended for hitting a student. @47:15
- Gets arrested for (kinda) murdering that guy, who it turns out was an investigative reporter for the local newspaper. @48:45
- Snoops around in the dead guy's desk. @1:11:00
- Breaks into the dead journalist's storage unit and grabs a DVD. @1:17:10
- Arranges for Simon to attend a monster truck rally at the Superdome. @1:28:05
- Instructs Simon to "take a leak." @1:30:40
- Instructs Simon to purchase a hot dog. @1:31:00
"The Hungry Rabbit Jumps"[]
- The magic phrase is uttered sixteen times:
- 01:00, 21:45, 29:50 (twice), 32:10, 34:05 (twice), 53:20 (twice), 1:21:45, 1:25:40 (thrice), 1:26:55, 1:27:25, 1:39:35
Final Judgments[]
- Bad-Bad Movie (Elliott) @37:45
- Bad-Bad Movie (Stuart) @38:10
- “Any time you have Nicolas Cage in a movie, you're really hoping you get a Crazy Cage. Not like, kinda, the sad Drive Angry 3D Nicolas Cage.”
—Stuart @38:25
- “Any time you have Nicolas Cage in a movie, you're really hoping you get a Crazy Cage. Not like, kinda, the sad Drive Angry 3D Nicolas Cage.”
- “If you are thinking about watching Seeking Justice, don't. Go see Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, which is total Crazy Cage.”
—Elliott @38:45
- “If you are thinking about watching Seeking Justice, don't. Go see Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, which is total Crazy Cage.”
- Marginal Good-Bad Movie (Dan) @39:05
Episode Highlights[]
- The Movie House @00:45
- Cagemas @04:05
People Known to Be Evil @10:35[]
- Keith Ablow
- Michael Chiklis
- Mr. Clean
- Dr. Freeze (from that Batman movie)
- Christopher Lloyd (in the Addams Family movies)
- Lex Luthor
- Montel Williams
Movie Pitches[]
- El Saw @1:06:35
- “Would you like to play a game? You have to eat your way out of this enchilada in five minutes, or eat your own leg, señor.”
—Mexican Jigsaw
- “Would you like to play a game? You have to eat your way out of this enchilada in five minutes, or eat your own leg, señor.”
- Howard the DuckTales @47:30
Quotes[]
- “The point of this movie is that this vigilante monster gets a commission from all the candy he sells.”
—Elliott @14:35
Listener Mail[]
- Mailbag Song @40:20
- "ATTN: Cool Uncle Stu" from unknown @40:40
- Regarding the ass cancer episode.
- "Free David Kalan." @43:05
- "Total Recall Through the Flop House Synopsis" from Jim Strayer @44:00
- The ending of Space Jail (also starring Guy Pearce) is discussed.
- "Will Our Prayers Be Finally Answered?" from Stefan Lastnamewithheld @46:10
- Discussing directions for a possible Howard the DuckTales project at Disney, parrallels between Scrooge McDuck and Bane. @47:30
- "Full Shame and Loathing" from Pat Lastnamewithheld @49:00
- Regarding Meet the Spartans and The Love Guru.
Recommendations[]
- The Bank Job (2008) by Roger Donaldson (Dan) @1:02:25
- Circuitry Man (1990) by Steven Lovy (Stuart) @1:00:20
- The Invisible Maniac (1990) by Adam Rifkin (Stuart) @59:05
- Reds (1981) by Warren Beatty (Elliott) @1:03:20
- Split Second (1992) by Tony Maylam (Stuart) @1:00:35