|Worst Supporting Actress|
2012 Golden Raspberry
- aka: Burrito Thief: The Movie
- "In this episode we discuss the based-on-a-boardgame movie that ruined Clue's good name—Battleship."
A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals.
Lt. Alex Hopper is a weapons officer aboard the destroyer USS John Paul Jones, while his older brother, Stone, is the commanding officer of the USS Sampson. Unknown to Alex, Stone or the rest of the U.S. Navy, alien invaders have arrived on Earth with plans to steal Earth's resources. When a confrontation with the invaders knocks out the Navy's radar capability, American and Japanese forces must work together to find a way to save the planet.
- It is decided that the first five minutes of the movie are better described as Burrito Thief: The Movie. Based on the Hasbro board game Burrito Thief.
- Bad-Bad Movie (Elliott)
- Liked the first couple of scenes but feels it eventually becomes boring.
- Bad-Bad Movie (Stuart)
- Also feels it is overlong.
- Bad-Bad Movie (Dan)
- Dan and Elliott return from out of town. The guys missed one another and aren't afraid to admit it.
- Elliott is surprised that Magnum condoms aren't just "regular size" condoms, for guys like him.
- Stuart, pondering the movie they just watched, wonders out loud: "Should we talk about it...?"
- 11:02–12:48 Stuart seems to harbor some confusion regarding the Tasmanian Devil, or maybe Gizmo Duck. This somehow turns into a digression regarding an unusually racially-aware episode of The Real Ghostbusters.
- 13:48–14:45 Elliott describes his Liam Neeson vehicle, the Neesonmobile (from Nissan).
- 16:50–17:30 Stuart briefly attempts to run a Married with Children trivia game but doesn't know the answers to the questions.
- 26:37–27:23 The guys describe how the "JV Squad" of shaved monkeys knocked out Gleep-Glorp's space teeth.
- 32:30–33:20 Stuart is reminded about ALF, and wonders if it's still on the Lifetime network.
- Mars Needs Mummies @24:05
- "Mail Title" from Patrick Lastnamewithheld @Time
- Patrick is purportedly the grandson of Eddie Bracken. Patrick tells a couple of extremely terse anecdotes, which Elliott found underwhelming. They discuss the Bracken Bar, a candy bar made out of Eddie Bracken's skin cells ("You're Snackin' on Bracken!").
- "Mail Title" from David Lastnamewithheld @Time
- He is worried that guest hosts tend not to reappear, intimating that they are being murdered. Elliott describes how sometimes he take Stuart to the vet, but Stuart thinks he's going to the park.
- "Mail Title" from Joel Lastnamewithheld @Time
- Joel astutely points out the existence of the great Flop House sin: being boring. Elliott responds by naming some boring movies that he enjoys nevertheless. There are some additional clarifications regarding dull movies and when this becomes unacceptable.
- Les Bonnes Femmes (1960) by Claude Chabrol (Elliott)
- Piranha Part Two: The Spawning (1981) by James Cameron (Dan)
- Premium Rush (2012) by David Koepp (Elliott)
- Robot Jox (1989) by Stuart Gordon (Stuart)
- Stuart recommends Robot Jox in the most perfunctory way possible.
- Dan recommends Piranha 2: The Spawning, a "fun B-movie." Stuart seems a little disappointed that Lance Henriksen didn't play one of the piranhas.
- Elliott recommends Premium Rush and also Les Bonnes Femmes (to balance out Robot Jox and Piranha 2).
- The guys briefly discuss how the mere sight of a bra strap is no longer sufficient to get the sap rising, so to speak, and the episode comes to an end.
Big Announcement That Doesn't Happen
- Dan starts to give a Big Announcement...but then is talked out of it, and apparently there was no time to edit any of this out.