The Flop House Wiki
­For those of you tuning in for the first time: this is an old-timey radio play where you get to be the hero!


  • Bakersfield Fudge, makers of:
Bakersfield Fudge
"The Bakersfieldest. It's also the fudgiest."
Sweet Amazing Penises
"Double penetrate your mouth with these!"[2]

Keep calm.jpg

The Game Thus Far[]

You approach the old mansion, expecting to receive your inheritance. In the upstairs window you see the silhouette of the dowager countess.[3]
> put the key to the lock[4]
You try the key in the lock. The key does not work.
Do you:
  • Turn around
  • Try the next key
  • Hit the lock with a hammer
  • Wait to be announced by a servant
  • Wait for another visitor to arrive[5]
  • Lick the lock
  • Stare at that door for a while

> use the key on the lock[6]
You unlocked it and turned the knob.[7]
Do you:
  • Push the door open slightly
  • Push the door open very forcefully
  • Push the door open somewhere in the middle
The door is not open far enough for you to squeeze through.
Do you:
  • Push the door open further
You use the key on the lock. You hear the tumblers click.
Do you:
  • Turn the knob, thus opening the door further
  • Jiggle the key a little, just in case you need to put a little english on it
  • Pull the door, risking that there may be another lock that you didn't open and you'll feel stupid when it stops
  • Go home and watch a rerun of The Big Bang Theory (nobody choose that one)
The statue's arm slides easily, and a section of wall slides to the left.[8]
Do you:
  • Enter the secret hallway
  • Wait and do nothing
  • Use item "butler's mask"

Mentioned In[]

External Mentions[]

  • John Siracusa and Merlin Mann "#13: The Mickey Suit" Reconcilable Differences. Podcast audio. Relay FM, 5 November 2015. (accessed 10 November 2015)

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